Monday, July 6, 2009

Wall of Gum

The management of the Market Theater in Pike Place Market grew weary of scraping their seats free of the bubble gum deposited there weekly by crowds of teenagers so they required everyone to leave their gum outside of the theater. The kids would stick their gum to the walls of Post Alley creating a collage of masticated cast-offs. It was a sight to see and smell, some of the chewed flavors lent their aromatic properties to the surrounding air. A colorful display of lumps and strings glued to the brick wall. The Miller children added their own minty contributions, Savannah's in the shape of an 'S'.

The gum wall has been scraped clean twice now and it has been reconstructed each time. I think it may be the best place in the world to build your immune system, having earned the honor of one of the germiest places in America. Just stand next to the wall, inhale deeply and wait for the viruses to rise up and challenge your t-cells. You would develop a robust immune system equivalent to a veteran day care teacher after the antibody workout this place gives you.

It would also serve useful for the germaphobes in the world as shock therapy. They could truly face their fears. I would equivocate the experience to someone afraid of heights jumping from an airplane with a parachute. They may or may not make it to the ground but either way something has to have changed. They would either end lifeless and limp from a coronary failure or remain healthy and strong with a new perspective on their fears. Our childrens' parachute was the liberal dousing of hand sanitizer they received after they left their gum on the wall.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ok - I am scared of heights and I have jumped out of an airplane with a parachute - IT DIDN'T HELP! Just say NO.

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